The victim

John was early to meet his partner at her point of rendezvous at the lovely french restaurant L'assiette for a quick lunch together when he received a last-minute text from her announcing that she couldn't make it because of an urgent matter at work. At first, John was feeling abandoned and then he became angry at his partner because she didn't keep her words.

Back home in the evening, John was feeling moody and needy. He made sure that his partner noticed his mood. When she asked him what was going on with him, he started to ask if something was wrong with him because she didn't join him for lunch. He then continued to whine that he felt rejected and left alone. He kept on and on about feeling so miserable that she didn't show up for their lunch, insisting that there must be something wrong with him.

What is at play here?

John's inner child needs attention and connection. Because John cannot recognize and hold his inner-child, his inner-child's needs permeate his adult self as neediness taking the shape of the victim or martyr.